Recently I posted tips on Befriending in Facebook & elsewhere, but today I had a conversation that prompted me to think about the psychology behind being shy of social networking. So I want to come at it from a different direction & ponder why people feel uncomfortable with social networking. These ideas are my own & not based on any statistics.
- Our Culture – Does it tend to make us less willing to be transparent & open with strangers? Do people in European countries & other cultures have an easier time?
- Trust – Are we brought up to not talk to strangers? Does that affect how we feel about interacting?
- Fear – This can be of many things. Some that I can think of are rejection, embarrassing oneself, not being knowledgeable enough, not being accepted, etc My fear is different, but I push it back & carry on hoping that no one will decide to take advantage of my being so open & trusting.
- No time or desire – Then why have you read this far? *grin* Seriously though, if you think that networking is important for whatever reason, then it will take time. Initially, it takes a conscious effort but as you get used to it & get addicted, then it pays off & the relationships can grow.
My suggestion is that as hard as it is, put yourself out there as I suggested in my tips. As you have success, you’ll gain self-confidence & realize the value in meeting strangers. After awhile it will become easier & not cause you stress. (It’s supposed to be fun! And maybe that’s why I appreciate Facebook – it offers a glimpse of the person & who they are.) Each weekend 5-10 people connect with me & I initiate connections with others.
What do you feel are roadblocks for you in this area? and take some time to ask yourself why they bother you?
I fear, I’m Connie’s case study in this topic. For being sisters, this is where Connie and I differ.
I am a technical person very willing to stay in the background. I also had classified myself as a constructive lurker that just watches, listens and learns and sometimes posts. Connie has taught me, encouraged me and sometimes outright pushed me to come out of hiding.
It is amazing what happens when you start interacting and communicating. People love when you share your knowledge and thank you. I have watched opportunities almost fall into Connie’s lap by her social-ness on the internet.
I think a lot of my reasoning/reluctance behind it is: “What is the point? Why should I do it? These people are not my friends.” But I am learning that I am wrong. After communicating with people over the internet, I am finding out they can be friends. It might be nice to meet them in person.
And social networking on the internet is much easier than in person. What was pointed out earlier in one of Connie’s blog entries/comments, it puts everyone on an even playing field.
[…] to add me on Facebook too. And if you’re hesitant about networking, I posted awhile ago about Overcoming Social Network Shyness. Start there & ease yourself in. Popularity: 1% [?]Share […]
[…] Do you have any contact with those people after the initial acceptance? I’ve written about Shyness in Social Networking & this article explains the underlying reasons behind […]
I have three objections to MySpace and to a lesser degree FaceBook.
1. MySpace was originally created for children and FaceBook for college students. I have a serious problem with adults and adult topics intermingling with children. Certainly, adult males should NOT be visiting these sites. Dateline NBC baited their infamous “To Catch a Predator” traps on MySpace and Fox NewsCorp which owns FaceBook attempted a similar trap. Why would any sensible man go near either?
Adults should find their own networking sites. There’s plenty of specialty sites for mystery fans, romance fans, and almost anything else can be found on-line. By itself, ning.com lists hundreds of specialized networking sites.
2. People have to register on these sites just to get past the fist page or communicate with you. This is an extra barrier, and I’m registered in so many places, when required registration comes up for casual viewing or commenting, I take a pass.
3. These sites and Quechup.com have been ‘outed’ for indiscriminately sharing personal data for marketing purposes. I don’t want to be reading “Your friend Connie Bensen uses K-Y Jelly and extra-large Preparation H.”
[…] If you’re shy about this, I have some suggestions. […]
You can also be a Troll.
[…] If you’re shy about this, I have some suggestions. […]
I’m a new blogger (since spring this year), and while i LOVE it- it’s so free-feeling and refreshing- i’m challenged by the twitter public timeline. i wasn’t, until i randomly ran a google search on my name and saw my tweets pop up. while i have no problem with “strangers” who i’ve okayed to follow me on twitter to see this stuff, it freaks me out to be so out there. let’s face it- even debbie weil talked about her colonoscopy on twitter, and while i don’t go that far, i mix between offering things up that may interest people and commenting about my random daily life. i want so badly to get over this, open my twitter again and connect it to my corporate blog, but the shy person in me (i was painfully shy as a child) keeps yanking me back. can we be “social” without full-monty public twitters?
[…] If you’re shy about this, I have some suggestions. […]
[…] If you’re shy about this, I have some suggestions. […]
Adding this to my bookmarks. Thank You